Ever dated someone who was a hot commodity? Sometimes i wish i wasn't attracted to attractive people.Being wit someone that everyone Loves turns into Insecurity. Many people get involved in a relationship and have no self-Control...Their heart is not dedicated to one person...they get a high off of being the "It" Guy/Gyrl. It's more attractive when u have someone who's focused on one person.. more of a turn on for me. I hate to feel like the person I'm dating can not be committed to just me....... I've always wanted a different type of relationship...More open but CLOSED.....weird but yea....When i say open i mean we hang out as friends...u don't mind being around ur boys wit me...we party together .... no jealousy... but at the same time i knw my role as a gyrlfriend and u knw ur role as man.... ~sigh~ am im dreamin or is this possible? I think this would be the best relationship a female could have.....Insecurity wouldnt be an issue if it was open... but some Guys have a problem wit being this way towards a chic ; / if you consider someone ur "Ride or Die" does that mean whtever u put her through she's always there no matter wht? my DEFINITION of a "Ride Or Die" is hving a down as bitch who knws everything about u n wellin to go above n beyond to hold u down despite the bullshit ...if the relationship was open wit no secrets a "ride or die" may hold u down Genuinely. "Hot Commodity" ass Guys are for the birds.....staying humble n knowing ur worth will get u further vs knowing ur the shit ...wit a chic on ur side n trying to bag other sideline bitches... Insecurity doesn't come outta know where...its more of a "cause and effect" type of thing.....
Have you ever heard the old saying "Beauty can be a gift and a curse." That's exactly what comes to mind when I read this post. Although I can definitely relate to where you're coming from on this, some of your perspective view points were somewhat confusing to me! For starters, I was left trying to figure out how you could have an "open relationship, but closed" at the same time? lol I think I have a very good idea as to what you were trying to say, but this is definitely something that you would need to elaborate on a little further. In order to get your view point across more effectively, You should elaborate more on what exactly your idea of the role is that a girlfriend/boyfriend is supposed to play? This of course varies from relationship to relationship based on each persons characteristics and needs as an individual. Therefore in order to define roles, one would have to take this into consideration before attempting to specify what exactly an "open and closed" relationship would entail. Being in a relationship with someone that everyone loves will only turn to insecurity if you allow it to do so. If you trust your man, THATS IT! Don't listen to the here say and rumors that you think you may have heard. If your man is such a hot commodity then you must realize that some women will stop at nothing to sabatoge your relationship in hopes of getting with your man afterwards. (Especially since you yourself admitted that a one woman man is alot more attractive) Unless you have concrete evidence of your mans infidelity then the best thing you can do as his woman is to TRUST HIM! You do know that it is possible to be a hot commodity and still remain a one woman man right? They are hard to find, but "trust me" they do exist lol The only reason why you feel as though you have a much harder time finding a man more fit for you is probly due to the fact that you yourself are also a hot commodity. Therefore it only makes sense that the more attractive you are, the more men you will attract, and unfortunately the more men you will have to sort through before you find Mr. RIGHT! I know it can be frustrating at times, and by no means am I trying to tell you I know what it's like to be played games with, guy after guy (because I don't) but my advice to you would be.....
ReplyDeleteto continue to work on doing you just as you have been. If you yourself are a "Hot Commodity" and you are confident in that which you are working with then kick back and allow Mr. Hot commodity to come to you. Have him tug at your line for as long as it takes and refuse to give in to him so easily. If he has more than one woman on the line, he'll eaither fade away from the lack of attention given to him, or he'll drop the women he's with to gain the attention from you! (since he can't figure out why you're not showing any interest) The longer he sticks around in persuit, and the more effort he is forced to put into you, the more valuable a commodity you become to him. Then he should be a lot less willing to risk ever losing you in the first place. A man is always going to be attracted to other women outside of his relationship. What makes him a "good man" is his willingness to remain faithful to the one woman of many. It's the worth that you place on yourself that will determine wether or not he would risk losing you. If you appear to be insecure in the relationship and are constantly questioning and accusing him of infidelity, I can assure you that if he's not cheating, you will only drive him further and further away and maybe even drive him to cheat when he never even had any intentions to do so in the first place. Now if the "Hot Commodity" man you are speaking of is clearly unfaithful, two or three more women on the side, it shouldn't matter how hot of a commodity he is, the n*gga is NO GOOD! lol In this case, it's obvious to see that the insecurity issues lie with the man, and not yourself. If a man already has a woman, and he's still looking for more women on the side, this is usually due to the fact that he himself has insecure or low self esteem issues in which he needs the validation from more than one woman in order to make himself feel more like a man and more desireable. You need to remind yourself of your worth and just walk away. You deserve better and should have no problem finding it! Thats the plus side to being a "Hot Commodity" as well. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm Dame Ditto and this is my two cents!
I have been in that position a time or 2 and definitely glad those days are over for me!
ReplyDeleteAwwwww u guys thnxs.....kisses
ReplyDeleteHey Danni....I had to post hunni, because you definitley sound just like me!! I agree with how you feel, I am in the same boat with you girl. My "Hot Commodity" is very well known in our city, which makes it even harder for us to blossom into anything else. Not to mention having met his family!! I am a very quiet and private person, and idk if that could be the reason he feels the need to avoid the "relationship" word or what....but honestly, Dame did just give it to us raw....makes it so much better hearing a guys POV(point of view). I'll ttys hunni, this is my first time blogging girl!!! im tooo hype! lol. Now Im headed back to the main page to find the shirt I was looking for...smooches
ReplyDeleteTiffany Chantell